The True Meaning of Marriage [abridged], by A. Cardinal:
A man and a woman get married and have kids. Lots of ‘em. Kids go to church, get fiddled with by priesthood. That doesn’t really happen. Oh, wait, yes it does. My bad.
Anyway, same sex marriage is abhorrent since it deprives children of a mother and father (assuming AIDS doesn’t do that first) and also deprives priests of children to fiddle. Which doesn’t happen. Honest. God made me do it.
Anyway, we don’t want the gays cluttering up the place, marrying, breeding, bringing gay offspring into the world. The male offspring might like being fiddled with. And where’s the fun in that?
